I am the first one to say that I have a problem with being territorial with r and his female friends. r has always been one of those guys who has gotten along better with girls than guys. his chivalry, respect, and appreciation for women is one of the things I love best about him. I have no reason not to trust him, and I do trust him, with everything I've got. however, my feathers still get a little ruffled when I feel like a line gets crossed by his lady friends (always verbal, never anything else).

when I was growing up, it was explicitly taught to me that there are unwritten boundaries that go up between friends of the opposite sex when one or both of them are in relationships and/or married. in the beginning of our relationship, r and I had to communicate quite often what our views on this issue were. I, for one, had no desire to maintain the closeness in relationships I had with guys. he, however, had several friendships where he thought of the friend as a "little sister." I've learned to back off here and just deal, because it really isn't anything to get worked up about.

it has probably been over a year since I last got defensive about r and his friendships. I think it's important to note that I don't think r crosses any lines. I was thinking about this matter recently, and I thought about the phrase "I love you" and how it fits into this context. in and of itself, I don't think these three little words are harmful. however, a single lady telling a married man this is all kinds of out of line to me. think about the wife, girls. and, if you would like to become good friends with her, be careful how you act towards her man. also - she might want to become better friends with you but it's not going to happen if you talk to her husband about all your problems. especially problems having to do with her.

gah. probably going to regret this post in the morning.